In arguing against law of attraction as a valid principle, one of the most frequently asked questions is: “If I create my own reality, why on earth did I create this”? Sometimes it is phrased: “I can’t possibly be creating my reality because I never would have chosen this”. Everybody wonders about this. This article explains how we create.
How we create
We create the reality we experience by our thoughts and feelings. Our thoughts and feelings create a tone or a vibration that acts as a magnet which draws to us more of the experiences or events that will give us more of the same thoughts and feelings. This has to be brief here because volumes and volumes have been written on the specifics of how we do it and how to control it. Our dominant vibration draws situations of like vibration to us. Most of the time we are creating from default. We are not consciously aware of what we are thinking or believing, and we are not making conscious choices for our preferences.
The nine ways we create unconsciously are:
Current research in neuro-psychology says we think 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day and over 90 percent of these are the same thoughts we thought yesterday. They are often the same thoughts our parents had. We seldom examine or question the random, repeating small voice in our heads. Often it is saying things like “this is the only way to do this”, “this is just the way it is”. Or it is saying things like “this can’t happen to a person like me”, and “I’m not good enough, smart enough, lucky enough to do . . .” or “everybody knows . . .”
2. Ignorance: Not knowing I had a better choice or even any choice at all
We often don’t realize we can have a choice about things. Until we start learning about deliberate creation we often feel like we are victims of circumstance, of randomness, or of a judgmental and capricious god. None of this is true. Learning deliberate creation is empowering. We come to understand, through knowing the physics of it, that we can influence EVERYTHING in our world. And yet, we still often think, but I can’t affect my health, for instance, or but I can’t affect world events. Not true. We always have choice and we always have free will. We can affect and influence everything we experience. I don’t mean we can affect our response to it only after it has appeared in our lives, but that we can control the balance and frequency of our experience of joyful and less joyful events in our lives. Yes, it takes practice and awareness, but it can be done and it’s not too difficult to do.
3. Expectations of those around me, media conditioning, group think
How often have you heard thoughts stated like “if something can go wrong, it will”, “the change in temperature is causing everybody to catch a cold”, “because the economy is bad, jobs are hard to get now” “you’re too old – nobody your age ever did that”, “your body will deteriorate as you get older”. A friend of mine who works in the medical profession said, “all men get prostate problems as they get older”. I was horrified. I playfully punched him on the arm and reminded him not to think that way if he doesn’t want to be one of them. Advertisements, particularly on TV, and especially those by the pharmaceutical companies are powerful influencers if we believe them. They try to make you believe “everybody has . . . “, or “everybody needs . . “. Magazines, newspapers, movies and the culture we live in all perpetuate ideas they take as truth. In reality, truth can be what we define it to be for each of us.
4. Selective Observing
Observation of a state or condition brings more of the same. This is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. We use our minds, unconsciously, to shift through our thousands of interactions to find the ones that justify our ideas, beliefs, and expectations about the world. Then we say, “See? I knew it would be this way!” If we believe all cashiers are rude, for instance, we won’t notice all the times our experiences are pleasant. But when we encounter the one who is less than friendly, we declare it to be the truth about all cashiers. We talk about how insulted we were, we tell our friends not to shop at that store and we rehash the event over and over, magnifying our feelings with each telling. This strengthens the vibration that all cashiers are rude. The next time you go shopping you will more likely gravitate past the five cashiers who are pleasant and friendly to the one who is tired and having a bad day. Even if she says nothing to you, you will be anticipating some sort of insult and will probably find it.
A belief is a habit of thought. It is a thought we keep thinking until it becomes a paradigm, a filter, through which we view and relate to the world. Like any thought, beliefs that limit us can be changed. The tricky part is in recognizing our beliefs as thoughts about a thing and not as the absolute, unchangeable truth about the thing. A lot of our beliefs are below our level of conscious awareness. “I can’t do that, I’m not skilled, talented, rich, lucky enough”. “I have to work hard to make money.” “Taxes eat up everything.” “Easy come, easy go.” “No gain without pain.” “Life is hard”. A friend of mine says she learned from her parents that, “People like us. . “ usually finished by, “always have to work hard”, “never get a break”, “don’t have the means to travel”.
Those of us who think we’re scientific use statistics to justify or ‘prove’ our beliefs. Yet, there is the quote by Mark Twain, “There are three kinds of lies: there are lies, damn lies and statistics.” We know statistics and even scientific experiments usually show only what we expect to see. In quantum physics this is called the ‘observer effect’. If we accept our beliefs without question, we create our reality from them. When we change the beliefs, we create our reality by choice and through joy.
6. Momentum from the recent past in this life
Manifesting, from the time we think or feel a powerful thought to the time we experience our creation, can take a while. Sometimes, even though we have changed our thoughts and beliefs about a thing in the meantime, we still find ourselves experiencing the previous condition. We are just experiencing thoughts we set into motion in the past. The important thing to remember is that the thoughts we are thinking today create our future. It is not inevitable that things will stay the same, as we are often willing to believe. We can choose from this moment on what we want in our future.
7. Other people’s thought forms
When we are vibrating with a particular belief, perhaps one of fear or victimization, we can attract other people’s thought forms that are vibrating at the same rate. Then we experience feeling out of control and overwhelmed. We feel victimized. You may say, “but I never worried about being in a car accident”. Yet the car accident may have been attracted by your vibration of “accidents happen frequently, all drivers are crazy except me, I’m vulnerable to everyone else’s craziness out here, I feel unsafe” and thoughts like that. When we attract other thought forms to support our positive beliefs we feel incredibly lucky and we experience wonderful synchronicities.
8. Karmic choice from past life or bleed through influence of other parallel lives
In reincarnation theory, people believe we make choices about what we want to experience before we are born on this plane. Physicists tell us all time is simultaneous and we are living all our lives at the same time right now. A third theory has parallel worlds and universes splitting off to live their own existence each and every time we make a decision. Then each of these splits again with the next decision we make – a mind-boggling concept. Whether you believe in past lives or parallel lives or the many – worlds hypothesis, we are multidimensional personalities. Other parts of our psyche are off having their own experiences while we are here living on planet Earth trying to pay the rent. At times, usually brief and spontaneous, we sometimes become aware of ‘another self’ and we find ourselves feeling and sensing through that person’s senses. We can, with consciousness, make choices about how much of this we allow, and about what we are willing to have enter our experience.
9. Subconscious agreement to experience the state for the expansion of it
We are all eternal beings. We are not here to learn lessons and progress back to the godhead, as if we are some fallen angels who have to earn our promotion. We are here on this plane for the joy of the experience and to express our creativity, our individuality and our free will. We choose some experiences that may seem less than pleasant in the short run, just to know that experience. Choosing illness, poverty, or extreme circumstances in one lifetime may be similar to folks who like bungy jumping or sky diving for a brief moment in this lifetime. Maybe it’s a feels – so – good – when – it – stops kind of thing, yet you have the feelings of achievement and accomplishment for having come through the experience. Any time you get the feeling that you are dangling on the end of a bungy cord, be aware that it is a choice you made and remember that you are always free to make another choice.
Creating with Deliberate Intention
Conscious, deliberate creation is what we are all here to experience. It is not a “lesson” we have to learn. We are whole, perfect and complete already. There are no lessons; there is only the joy of creating. Think of children building sand castles. There is no lesson, there is no reason for it – it is just fun. We build them, we live in them for a few minutes, or a few lifetimes, then we knock them down because we have a new idea we want to experience. This is our God-nature; expansive, creative, always experiencing the new for no other reason than for joy.
What you focus on expands
Ow! I just hit my thumb with a hammer! Do I really need to spend an hour figuring out why it happened, how it happened, what actually happened, what beliefs I had, ad infinitum? Or do I just want to be more careful from now on? Maybe put some ice on it and continue with the project. As we focus on the pain, we are more aware of it. Concentration, with intensity on it, strengthens our vibe of pain. As I continue to think about my thumb and how much it hurts, I am much more likely to hit it again. When you throw a baseball, you look at where you want the ball to go. When you hammer a nail, you should focus on the nail, not on your thumb. It is the same with every part of our lives. If we want more money and more abundance in our experience we need to focus on having more, doing more, experiencing more. We won’t get there by thinking of how little we have.
Most of the dumb things we do, the dumb decisions we make and the dumb situations we create are no more significant than “accidentally” hitting our thumb. They are not meaningful life lessons. As westerners, we have over-developed our reasoning ability at the expense of our intuition. We have bought into the Freudian concept that everything has meaning and can explain our lives. But even he said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”. We look for external significance in everything – even if a bird dumps on our shoulder as we are getting into the car. Yet we can no longer hear our soul’s voice. We create our lives though our habits of thought and most of our thoughts are not ones we’d like to live.
The key is to let an unwanted thought go quickly and focus on what you really want. The ‘why’ of why you created it doesn’t matter. It is like asking why you smoke cigarettes – another ‘bad’ (unwanted is a more apt word) habit. Well, it could be you have an anal fixation, you were toilet trained too early, you have anxiety and you need something to do with your hands, you think you look cool, your friends do it, whatever. . .
Does it really matter? As you analyze it and think about it and worry about it and come back to it over and over and over (as we do when we try to figure something out) are you thinking more about smoking or about stopping? Thinking about a condition draws that condition to you. If you have a choice, which is more important: understanding the real reason or stopping? They are, after all, opposite vibrations. All that matters is that you stop, if that is your desire. Make a different choice every time the temptation arises and eventually, sooner than you think, you will have changed the habit. Understanding ‘why’ just wastes time.
Why did you get sick? It could be as simple as because the TV keeps telling you you should get sick because everybody will, or because it’s
that season, or because you’re at that age, and because you didn’t know you had a choice about it. Why don’t I have a better job? It could be that you learned from your parents an attitude that jobs are difficult and stressful and you should be grateful for having one at all and not try to find another. Now, you can just make another choice.
Here’s a radical idea: We don’t have to learn from every negative experience in our lives, particularly if we’re just acting out of habit or group think. There is nothing deep or profound to learn. It is merely a bad habit to be changed. The only lesson is: don’t do it any more. We seldom, if ever, analyze to death the good things that happen. Why did I create this wonderful experience in my life? What does it mean that I create so much joy and bring so much beauty to so many? What does it mean that my life is working smoothly and I’m having a lot of fun? Why is this happening to me? Do we “EVER” do that? Well, why not? We know the ‘why’ doesn’t matter. All that matters is to do it.
Abraham (Abraham-Hicks teachings) and Seth (from the books by Jane Roberts) both say we are here to have fun. That is the only reason. To express our creativity and our personalities and our preferences in learning how to create our reality. For fun. Because the creative urge is an urge toward expansion, toward light, toward more (of everything) and it’s fun. Shiva dances in his joy in creating the world. Isn’t this a wonderful image? We should all be dancing with the joy of our creations.
We can choose to grow thru ease. We can choose to expand thru joy. When we create unpleasant experiences for ourselves, we can intend to learn quickly that we don’t need to do that. “No pain, no gain” is an archaic, Judeo-Christian belief rooted in the dual concepts of good and evil. We know there is only the Oneness of the unified field. Why not focus on the quantum possibilities? Why not consider that what you focus on is what you attract – and focus on what you want?
Wouldn’t you rather be having more fun?
Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.
Lorna maintains an international Law of Attraction Coaching practice. From time to time she has openings for new clients. If you would like some help in consciously using the law of attraction in your life with ease, visit her website: http://www.transform-u.com.